Is Life a Cup of Tea ???

« on: April 14, 2008, 06:29:53 AM »

Life is like having a cup of tea.

You sit by the side of the window,

Lift the cup and take a careless sip only to realize,

Somebody forgot to put the sugar.

Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle through the sugarless cup.

Till you discover undissolved sugar crystal sitting at the bottom...

That's LIFE…

Rahasia Bawahan BEKERJA OPTIMAL

Pernahkah anda membayangkan bila::

* Anda harus senantiasa mengawasi setiap waktu pekerjaan bawahan anda.
* Anda Tidak mencapai target karena bawahan anda senantiasa harus dibimbing
* Anda harus senantiasa resah, karena bawahan anda senantiasa melakukan kesalahan
* Anda harus senantiasa mengulang ngulang dalam memberikan instruksi
* Anda harus menghadapi konfrontasi dengan bawahan anda
* Anda melihat dari hari ke hari kinerja bawahan anda senantiasa menurun
* Anda merasakan dari hari ke hari team anda semakin tidak kompak
* Karyawan lama anda semakin menurun kinerjanya dan berimbas kepada karyawan baru.



Bila semua hal atau salah satu hal diatas terjadi pada anda, maka sebagai Leader anda belum mendapatkan performa terbaik dari bawahan anda.

Henry Kissinger pernah berkata "Para Leader membawa orang yang dipimpinnya dari tempat mereka berada sekarang ketempat terbaik dimana mereka belum pernah kesana" , seorang leader harus dapat membawa bawahannya untuk senantiasa menjadi lebih baik. Seorang Leader membutuhkan coaching skill agar dapat menjadi inspirator, motivator dan trainer bagi bawahannya. Dengan coaching skill para leader akan mudah mengembangkan dan mengasah kemampuan bawahannya, membuat mereka merasa nyaman dan termotivasi.

Four Steps to Direct Communication

Do you feel yourself frustrated by the lack of responsiveness of team members? Or perhaps you wish your spouse and/or kids would listen to you more? Oftentimes, these frustrations can be traced to not directly communicating your expectations or not specifically asking for what you need.

Suzanne was unhappy in her relationship with her husband. She was upset and frustrated by his lack of participation with chores. She thought that he should be able to observe what needed to be done and then simply complete these tasks without her asking. When he didn't do those things she thought he should, she became resentful. However, she remained silent and would not instruct him on what needed to be done. Suzanne thought that if she could see it all, why couldn't he?

Her assumptions about how he "should" be, her inability to accept that he didn't think like she did, and the lack of communication between them, put distance in their relationship. Her husband, meanwhile, couldn't understand what was going on. He would ask her to come to bed and all she could think of was the dishes that needed to be done, the laundry that needed folding and the toys that needed to be put away. These chores may have been in her head but they certainly weren't in his. And instead of asking him to help, she would get angry and say "I can't go upstairs now!" and he, not knowing what else to do and not wanting to upset her further, would get out of her way and go to bed alone.

As a manager, Beth couldn't seem to understand why people would continue to behave in certain ways even though the rules were reviewed time and again. She loathed confrontation and therefore, her style was to manage people's behaviors indirectly through the use of memos and reminders in staff meetings. In leadership, however, people need clear instructions and expectations for their behavior. Without it, people behave the way they think they should and do whatever they know how to do. And your silence, especially if the behavior is ongoing, gives them permission to continue to do what they've always done - whether the behavior is acceptable or not.

Communication lapses occur in both personal and business relationships. In order to bring about the results you want in your relationships with others, you must learn to speak up and address issues candidly. There are four steps to communicating directly. They sound so simple but with each step there are obstacles that can get in your way. It takes greater awareness, lots of practice, compassion for your Self, and a willingness to try new behaviors - and to make mistakes - in order to develop your communication muscles.

1. Identify what you want. This is a big obstacle to successful relationships and productive employees. If you don't know what you want, how can you expect others to know? Stop and consider what it is you want from this person, or what needs to be done. Envision the outcome you seek. The clearer you are about your vision for success, the easier it will be to share it with others.

2. Make no assumptions. People are not mind-readers. They do not know what is going on inside your head! Once you know how you want things to be, don't assume that other people know what you're thinking or that they think the same way you do about how things should be. They have their own ideas and opinions and priorities. What's a priority for you may not even be on their radar. Don't assume anything; validate any assumptions you may have by asking questions to make sure all involved parties are on the same page.

3. Ask for what you need. Be clear and specific in your request. Don't make excuses and don't beg. Many times, people are intimidated or fearful of asking for what they want. Fear can be an obstacle to success. You have to rise above your fear and muster your courage to achieve what you want. You have every right to ask for what you need. You have no control over people's response to your request. You can only be responsible for speaking your truth in a way that can be heard.

4. When asking for what you need, eliminate the emotional energy and simply make a direct request. This means your voice should carry no emotional energy. The inability to manage emotions is a huge obstacle for most people because they simply weren't taught the skills to deal with them. You must handle your emotions separately from making your request. If you are emotional, the person is less likely to hear you or may become defensive or emotional themselves.

Suzanne's resentment could have cued her in to the fact that there was something she wasn't doing to honor herself. Resentment is usually anger at self. By learning to follow these four steps, Suzanne started to experience a closer relationship with her husband. He began to look for ways to help out and their communication improved as they started to talk more about other important subjects.

Beth also experienced improvements at work. Some people initially pushed back when she started making direct requests regarding their behaviors. Some of her staff, one in particular, is now on an action plan to improve her productivity. It may be effective; it may not, but whatever the result, the impact will be a positive one for the department. Most of her staff is grateful for the direction. People like direction and consistency. They want to know what is expected of them and to be corrected when it's necessary (in a way that's appropriate, of course.) People want to do a good job. They want to be great spouses and great employees. Most of the time people really just don't know how to be different. It's your job to teach them by communicating directly - identify what you want, don't assume others think the same way as you or that they know what you're thinking, speak your truth simply and clearly, and do so without any emotional charge. People are more productive, happier, and experience deeper, healthier and more meaningful relationships when each party is willing and able to speak their truth directly. As you become more adept at it, you may need to teach others how to speak their truth as well. Don't assume they know how.

NILAI KESUKSESAN

"Cheng Gong De Jia Zhi"

Di sebuah sekolah, seorang guru mendapat pertanyaan dari salah seorang muridnya yang paling kritis. "Guru, apakah kami semua nanti bisa sukses?" Sang guru tersenyum mendengar pertanyaan itu. Tak lama, ia mengeluarkan uang senilai seratus ribu dari kantongnya. "Hayoo, siapa yang mau uang ini?" Semua anak berebutan mengacungkan tangannya. Uang senilai itu bagi mereka sangat besar.

Tiba-tiba, sang guru melipat-lipat dan meremas uang itu hingga kucel dan tidak karuan bentuknya. Ia pun berujar lagi, "Hayoo, siapa yang mau uang ini?" Walaupun merasa heran dengan kelakuan gurunya, murid-murid tidak peduli, mereka kembali mengacungkan jarinya, sambil berteriak "Saya… saya... saya...." Semua serempak mengajukan diri untuk mendapatkan uang itu.

Melihat antusiasme muridnya, sang guru kemudian menjatuhkan uang tersebut ke lantai dan menginjak-injak uang itu hingga kecil, tidak karuan dan kotor. Mendapati gurunya melakukan hal itu pada uang tersebut, sebagian murid melongo. Mereka tak tahu apa maksudnya sang guru menginjak-injak uang yang nilainya sangat besar bagi mereka itu. Guru pun kembali bertanya, "Hayoo, siapa yang masih menginginkan uang ini?"

Ternyata, meski uang itu menjadi jelek, kumal, dan bahkan bercampur sedikit lumpur yang berasal dari injakan sepatu guru, masih banyak murid yang antusias mendapatkan uang tersebut. "Aku, Guru… aku...."

"Kalian tetap saja mau dengan uang ini? Kalian tidak melihat betapa uang ini sangat kucel, jelek, kumal dan bau?"

"Jelek itu kan hanya bentuknya saja, Guru. Tetapi saja uang itu nilainya seratus ribu," jawab murid-murid yang tetap antusias meminta gurunya memberikan uang itu.

Sang guru pun kemudian berujar, "Kalian benar. Meskipun sudah tidak karuan bentuknya, uang itu tetap berharga dan kalian tetap ingin memilikinya. Nah, jika tadi ada pertanyaan, apakah semua bisa sukses? Jawabannya sama seperti nilai uang ini. Dalam proses menuju ke arah kesuksesan, kalian pasti akan mengalami berbagai ujian dan cobaan, mungkin mengalami jatuh, diinjak, dan dilecehkan. Walaupun begitu, nilai diri kalian tidak akan berubah. Semua tergantung kalian sendiri, bisa menjaga nilai yang ada dalam diri kalian atau tidak. Jika kalian mampu menghargai diri sendiri dan menentukan nilai diri, dengan keyakinan, kerja keras dan semangat pantang menyerah, maka sukses pasti kalian dapatkan."

Pembaca yang budiman,
Tak peduli berbagai ujian, cobaan, halangan, dan tantangan yang menghadang, jika kita punya satu nilai dalam keyakinan dalam diri, bahwa sukses adalah hak saya, maka jalan kesuksesan pasti akan selalu terbuka.

Karena itu, seberat apa pun perjuangan yang kita lakukan, seganas apa pun padang gurun yang kita harus lewati, setinggi apa pun gunung yang akan kita daki, seluas apa pun samudra yang kita seberangi, tetaplah pelihara semangat "Success is my right!". Tanamkan dalam diri, dan teruslah bekerja keras untuk mewujudkan semua mimpi. Harta tak ternilai itu ada dalam diri Anda. Perjuangkan! !!


Attitude Training, Part 4



So how does a tall, skinny kid who was an emotional misfit turn his life around and begin to live his dreams?

Coach McCord asked me that question. He had a long history as a teacher who helped to fashion the character and feed the knowledge of seventh and eighth grade kids in the small Northeast Texas town where I grew up.

I ran into 'Coach' and his wife recently at a local restaurant in my hometown (she happened to be my first grade teacher and back then, I had this amazing crush on her; glad 'Coach' never knew my secret).

'Coach' was the first person to ever acknowledge my value as a human being.

During the eighth grade year, after one of the very grueling football practices of the very hot and sweltering days of early September, 'Coach' had us doing sprints due to some of the bad behavior of 2-3 players on the team.

After nearly dying in the Texas heat and sultry humidity, I sat in the locker room attempting to catch my breath. Being the 14 year old 'genius' that I was, I boldly declared to my other team mates that, 'I don't think its fair that all of us are punished because of the stupidity of just a few.'

Little did I realize, 'Coach' was standing right behind me. He quickly said, 'Murphy, I need to see you in my office.' Ah carramba! I was in trouble.

'Coach' kept it short and to the point. He simply said, 'Murphy, if you don't like the way I run this team, then quit! Now, get out of my sight.'

Well, I wasn't about to quit. So I decided to adjust my attitude.

At the end of the season, when 'Coach' was handing out the awards for certain accomplishments, 'Coach' said, 'I have one award for one player who is without doubt the most improved player on this team this season. I'm giving this award to Michael Murphy.'

I had never been acknowledged for any accomplishment up until that moment in my life. I didn't know what incredible pride and deep emotion I would feel when given that kind of public recognition and encouragement.

When I saw 'Coach' eating lunch recently, he gave me the biggest hug and let know again how proud he was of me now as a 48 year old man. He had bought and read my books.

I could see in his eyes a question that he had a question but didn't want to ask. So, discerning what he was asking with his eyes, I rightfully finished what needed to be said that day. I told him that he played a large part in everything that I've accomplished in my life. Those words garnered another hug from 'Coach' and his wife.

My friend, never underestimate the power of encouragement. I believe that the thinking when I was a child was predominantly, 'Don't brag on them too much; you'll give them a big head and ruin them'. Well, nothing could have been further from reality.

I recently read about the most expensive car on the market today. It is likely the Bugatti Veyron. At 1,001 horsepower it has a zero-to-60 time of under three seconds. It sells for around $1.2 million. (To give you some perspective, you could buy 6 Lamborghini Gallardos for the same amount of money.)

They produce so few of them, their waiting list can be quite long and it could be 3-5 years for those who can afford one.

One of the biggest secrets in producing such a fast car is the turbo-charged nature of the engine. Simply put, there are four turbo chargers pushing enough air which in turn forces massive amounts of fuel into the engine.

Likewise, you can propel a tall, skinny, low self- esteem teenager into being, doing and having things 'he' would have never imagined for his life with encouraging and empowering words (breath or air). Think about it.

Your belief system is established by the words you've allowed to set up resident in your subconscious mind. Your belief system will produce the actions you take in your life. Your actions will always determine your results and what you get out of life.

So, how do you turn a tall, skinny, low self- esteemed teenager into an author of some renown and a soul that positively affects tens of thousands of people around the world?

You do it by feeding him the right words. By breathing the right air into him. You do it by him choosing to focus on the right thoughts. You do it by setting verbal milestones of empowerment and encouragement in his life.

Like the little engine that could which I mentioned in my last article, he repeats what he believes about himself until what he believes becomes his reality.

Consider doing a couple of things.

First, consider encouraging someone today. It may or may not be a teenager. But do it for someone and do it today.

Second, if you have no one to force or even give 'turbo charged' encouragement to you, then choose to empower yourself. The greatest voice that will determine your future in your life is your own.

Start saying, thinking and meditating on things that will empower you. Start training your subconscious mind to deliver success into your reality of life.

Have a positive day!

My Grandmother Taught Me To Fly

The phone rang and it was my sister, tearfully sharing the news that Bella had a massive stroke and I needed to get home immediately. My heart was broken, my stomach churned and I was overwhelmed. The backbone of our Italian family was in critical condition and I wanted to see her one more time: my grandmother, Bella.

Grandma Bella played such an important role in my life; every Italian matriarch stereotype was embodied in this beautiful, beautiful lady. She had such a green thumb and her garden produced wonderful tomatoes which we canned every season. She taught me to make sausage using a coveted family recipe, and we played Crazy 8's until the wee hours of the morning more times than I could ever count!

"What do you mean the ticket is $600? I can't afford it. I told you, I have to get to my family NOW. Please help me, please", I told the Delta Airline representative.

Despite tears and my strongest desire to be there, I could not get to my family for three days because the only ticket I could afford required a three day advance purchase. No available credit on my maxed out Visa, no savings, and not an extra dime in the checking account. Sadly, I didn't even have anything of value to pawn, and my pride did not allow me to admit my financial situation and ask my family for a loan.

For three days, I constantly called my family, asking repeatedly, "How is Bella? How is Bella? Tell her that I am coming. Please tell her that I will be there."

I could hardly eat, I was restless, I was crying, and I was devastated that I was stranded in the tropics known as South Florida. The sense of helplessness was greater than I have ever known. My family was in shock and I was a thousand miles away, but it might as well have been a million miles. Finding $600 to reach them immediately was an impossible task. Being alone and realizing my financial situation made matters much worse.

When I finally made it home, my arrival was bittersweet. Bella was out of pain, no longer incapacitated by a stroke. But, I did not have the chance to tell her I loved her, I did not have the opportunity to lay my head by her beating heart, and I could no longer clasp her aged, worn hand safely between mine. She was in heaven now. Tears flowed and I knew in my heart Bella had taught me one more lesson: never ever to be a victim of finances.

After an incredible celebration of Bella's life, I headed to the airport for the lonely flight home. Gazing out the plane window, I looked at the big fluffy clouds fully expecting to see my Bella dancing in the heavens. At this point, I made a commitment to be like Bella: free, beholden to no one, in bondage to nothing.